Nai’ma shares the story of how she came to understand the meaning of ‘Showing Up’ through tragic circumstances and enormous life changes.
So many of us sleepwalk through life: frustrated, unhappy and lacking confidence in our abilities and accomplishments, destined never to reach our full potential. We allow our limiting beliefs to hold us back. We allow our challenges to define us. We allow other people’s expectations to imprison us.
‘Show Up: A Motivational Message for Muslim Women’ is based on the lessons Na’ima learnt on her journey, inviting the reader to show up, authentically and sincerely, in their lives, casting aside the role of victim and instead, living as the hero of their own life story.
Award-winning author and magazine editor Na’ima B. Robert lost her husband of 15 years and found herself solely responsible for their five children and her late husband’s company, the entire axis of her world shifted. Suddenly, she was a widow, a single mother, and a reluctant CEO. But, through her faith in Allah’s plan for her and her decision to choose gratitude over despair, she was able to rise from the tragedy and show up differently: more present, more confident, more powerful, and more grateful than ever.
“I chose to see that challenge, not as a setback but, as a set up for a comeback”
The book is replete with personal stories, quotes from Qur’an, hadith and contemporary thinkers, as well as action points and space for the reader to reflect and apply the principles.
What would it look like if you showed up – sincerely and authentically – in any one of those roles? How transformational would that be for you and for those who love you?
We can show up as the hero in any given role. We can all take the easy route and choose to hide our true selves, rather than stepping into our power and claiming our authentic identity, both for ourselves and others. I know that I hid behind a particular identity for years. I wanted to be liked and respected by everyone. I wanted to be the acceptable role model. I wanted to live up to everyone’s expectations of me. But if living up to other people’s expectations forces you to hide who you truly are and what you truly believe in, it can be a source of frustration and, more seriously, dissonance.
For a long time, it was like there were two versions of me: the public version and the private version. And the two were not always aligned. I found myself slipping into one or the other, depending on who I was with, and what was expected of me. what does ‘showing up’ in your life look like?
This meant that, while I was showing up in a particular way in public, this wasn’t reflected in my private life. In public, I was a woman of goals and ambitions, a woman who inspired others to level up and aim higher. But, to my own family, I was none of those things. It pains me to say this but, for the longest time, I had been telling myself a story. The story was that I am not a good mother, that being a mum is ‘not my thing’, that my children don’t really need me, that they are not my biggest legacy.
I know that may sound shocking especially as, in Islam, we are encouraged to revere the mother and the role she plays in the stability of the family and raising the next generation. But that’s where I was. It was a story that helped me to hide from my own failings and weaknesses and made me feel better about the fact that I didn’t really have a vision for my family. But it was also a story that was stopping me from getting out of my comfort zone and truly pushing past my fears and self-doubt to find the gold on the other side.
Because, when I decided to challenge that story and choose a different, more empowering belief – that my children deserve the best of me and they are my greatest gift to the world – everything changed.
I decided to take extreme ownership of my children’s development and wellbeing. I decided to stop hiding away behind my work and business and step out into a new space of vulnerable and authentic leadership. It is scary and unfamiliar, but I can see the benefits already, and so can my children. I am
showing up for them, 100% authentic and real. And I know we will all be the better for it, insha Allah.
So, what will showing up look like for you? Well, as you can imagine, showing up in the different roles you play will look different at different stages of your life. The defining features of showing up, however, do not change: Showing up requires you to be present, authentic and sincere. Let’s have a look at how you could be present, authentic and sincere in the different spheres of your life.
About The Author
On her father's side and the Zulu people on her mother's side. She was born in Leeds, England, grew up in Zimbabwe, and went to university in London, England. At high school, her loves included performing arts, public speaking, and writing stories that shocked her teachers! She has written several multicultural books for children which have won, and been shortlisted, for numerous awards.
Na'ima divides her time between London and Cairo, Egypt, and dreams of living on a farm with her own horses. Until then, she is happy to be a mum to her four children and keep reading and writing books that take her to a different world each time.
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